Secrets of Paternity Read online

  Later he was taken by wheelchair to the lobby. Caryn, Kevin and Venus stood and hurried toward him. “I rate a parade?” he said, making an effort to set the tone.

  Kevin lifted his hand, lowered it, then lifted it again, setting it on James’s shoulder. “You okay?”

  His touch meant more to James than he could say. His throat closed with happiness. “Yeah. Can we go?”

  After some maneuvering, he was situated in the back seat of Caryn’s Explorer. Getting up the steps to his house took time and effort as he figured out how to use the crutches. When he finally plopped into his overstuffed chair in the living room, sweat beaded his forehead. He needed to take a pain pill, but he wanted a clear head for the moment. After their necessary conversation he would let himself find oblivion.

  “What’s going on with your brother?” he asked Venus. Easy stuff first, he decided.

  “He’s in jail. He says he wasn’t going to hurt anyone. He just wanted to get me away.”

  “Did he admit to taking the money from Caryn?”

  Caryn shook her head. “He didn’t incriminate himself.”

  “Do you plan to testify against him?” he asked the younger woman, who looked years older and sad.

  “Do I have to?”

  “Depends on what you know. How much do you really know?” He was giving her an out. He didn’t think she knew much, anyway, not enough to get her brother convicted. Why put her through that?

  She locked gazes with him. “Everything I know is speculation.”

  “What do you want to do, Venus?”

  She took a step closer. It was as if they were the only people in the room. “I want to disappear. Like my mom.”

  “I can help you do that. In fact, I know exactly where to send you.”

  Hope and relief and doubt crossed her face. “Where?”

  “To someone I know. He needs you, too, I think.” James pictured the man. Yes, Venus could be very good for him. Might turn his life around. If the bubbly, sweet Venus couldn’t do it, he didn’t know who could. “You’re sure you can leave your past behind?”

  “It’s not much of a past.”

  “All right. You’ll give your statement to the prosecutors, then we’ll arrange a trip for you.”

  She mouthed a thank-you. After taking another breath she said she would wait in the kitchen for Kevin.

  Kevin looked at his mother.

  “Would you rather be alone with him?” she asked Kevin.

  He shook his head. “I don’t think this is the time for secrets.”

  James smiled. Yes, Kevin had indeed matured.

  “Thank you,” Kevin said.

  “You’re welcome.” As far as James was concerned, that said it all. They didn’t need to rehash it.

  “I said some things to you a few days ago,” Kevin went on. “Asked you to do something. Asked you to walk away from us.”

  James didn’t look at Caryn, but he heard her quiet intake of breath.

  “I take it back,” Kevin said.

  James’s heart opened wide. He forced himself to breathe. “Why?”

  “Because everything is different now.”

  “Why? What’s changed? Not out of gratitude, Kevin. I don’t want your acceptance out of gratitude.”

  “I didn’t want my mom hurt again. But I heard you tell her you loved her. I don’t think you’ll hurt her.”

  “That’s enough for you? My loving your mom?” Give me something more, Kevin.

  Kevin shifted, lowered his head, then looked James in the eye. “What I told you in the beginning was true. I don’t need another father. I had a father, and I loved him, no matter what he did. You offered to be my friend…. I think we can start there?”

  It was as direct and honest as Kevin could be, James decided.

  “I’m willing, Kev.”

  Kevin leaned down hesitantly and then hugged him. James met Caryn’s gaze, saw her smile, saw her eyes mist over.

  “I’m going to drive Venus home,” Kevin said, then to his mother added, “If you want to stay here and take care of him, I understand.”

  “I do. Thank you.” She hugged him until he couldn’t seem to stand it anymore. “I love you.”

  “Love you, too, Mom.”

  The front door closed a minute later. Caryn stood where she’d been standing all along. “Can I fix you something to eat or drink?” she asked.

  He shook his head, then gestured to the sofa, near him. “Please sit down. You look ready to run.”

  That was the furthest possible thing from the truth, but she didn’t say so. She was nervous, that was all. Not hesitant, not unsure, except of his feelings now that he wasn’t under the influence of painkillers and leftover emotion from the situation he’d been in.

  She sat. She’d been so scared when Kevin had called her to say James was being taken to the hospital, that he was unconscious. Kevin was almost incomprehensible. His fault, he kept saying. His fault. So stupid. Then when they talked later, while waiting for James’s surgery to be done, he told her how it had finally struck him that he was trying to do what Paul and James had done all those years ago—take justice in his own incompetent hands. His guilt over James getting hurt was overwhelming, and a huge lesson to Kevin. They all had to be grateful it wasn’t worse.

  “Not very talkative, Mysterious?” James asked.

  “I don’t know where to start.”

  “No thank-yous, okay?”

  She nodded. After fidgeting a moment, she reached for his hand. He grasped hers hard.

  “I love you,” she said.

  He closed his eyes for several long seconds. “I love you, too.”

  She leaned forward. “I was so scared—”

  “Marry me.”

  “What?”

  “Marry me. Tomorrow, next week, whatever. Marry me.”

  “Jamey, we hardly know each other.”

  He angled closer, took her face in his hands. “You know it’s right. It’ll last.”

  She did. But to act so quickly?

  “I want to sleep with you again,” he said. “I don’t want Kevin to know we didn’t wait until the wedding. And I can’t wait long, Caryn.”

  “He’s going to wonder why we’re in such a hurry. Why we can’t at least wait until you’re out of your cast.”

  “So he wonders. So what?” He waited a second. “If you don’t kiss me pretty soon—”

  She lunged toward him, merged her lips with his, opened her mouth to his, felt the love flow from him, the caring, the ever-after promise in just that one kiss.

  “I’ll marry you,” she said a moment later, her forehead pressed to his. “Do you want children?”

  “If it happens, absolutely. I have a story to tell you about that, actually. Later.” He grabbed his crutches. “Help me move to the couch so I can hold you.”

  When she was settled in his arms, she closed her eyes and cherished the moment. “This has to be the strangest connection of all time,” she said.

  “Yeah. But fated, I think.”

  “I never would’ve guess you were a believer in fate.”

  “There’s a lot about me you don’t know yet. And vice versa, I figure.”

  “It’ll keep life interesting for a long time.”

  “Caryn?”

  “Hmm?”

  “There’s room in our love for Paul, too. Always.”

  Her heart did a slow roll. No wonder she’d fallen in love with him. She thanked him, kissed him and said she loved him again, the first night of countless nights she would tell him that. The first night of the second part of her life. It couldn’t get much better than that.

  Epilogue

  “Pop!”

  James angled away from his smoking barbecue grill. The warm October day was as bright and clear as he’d seen. “What, Kev?”

  “Look at Emmy.”

  He shifted his gaze to his just-turned-one-year-old daughter. She’d pulled a tomato from a vine and had taken a huge bite with the six teeth
she had. Seeds and juice dripped down her brand-new pink shirt.

  James laughed. “Do you want to take charge of the barbecue or your sister?” he asked.

  “Barbecue, definitely. Because her diaper needs changing, too.” He nudged James out of the way with his hip, grabbing the spatula at the same time.

  It was nice having him there for the day. Kevin had stayed on at the duplex, keeping his independence. It was a good situation.

  In the two years since Caryn and James had married, they had become a family, as closely tied as any family that had been together since the beginning, maybe more so because of how they got there.

  James wrapped an arm around Kevin’s neck and wrestled with him for a second, keeping an eye on the toddler at the same time.

  “Emmy!” Caryn exclaimed, coming into the yard.

  “Mama,” she said, grinning, batting her big turquoise eyes, taking herself out of trouble with the newly learned word. She held out the tomato for Caryn to take a bite.

  “Mmm. Warm and sweet, like you, precious,” Caryn said, giving her a kiss.

  James joined them and took a bite when offered, too.

  If this wasn’t heaven, he didn’t know what was.

  “Hey, Pop, I think these burgers are done.”

  James swallowed. Sometimes moments like this got to him. He was lucky. Damn lucky. He had it all.

  He kissed his wife and daughter, picked up the platter of hamburger buns and came up beside his son. Yeah. He had it all.

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-7702-5

  SECRETS OF PATERNITY

  Copyright © 2005 by Susan Bova Crosby

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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  *The Lone Wolves

  †Behind Closed Doors