Heart of the Raven Read online

  She leaned against the jamb. “What was she like during the pregnancy?”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Was she content? Excited? Afraid? Had she wanted to end the pregnancy? Did she seem to be looking forward to being a mother?”

  “The pregnancy wasn’t planned and we weren’t married. It didn’t exactly make for an ideal situation.”

  “I understand that.”

  He stood, too, and came close to Cassie. “She didn’t tell me she was pregnant until after she could have terminated it, and we didn’t talk about if she’d even considered it. If she had asked for my input I would’ve asked her to keep the baby and give him to me.”

  “And her attitude?”

  “I would say she wasn’t excited but not afraid, either. I don’t know how to describe it. She was different after she was pregnant, but I expected her to be different. The way she took off at the end stunned me. It was way out of character.”

  “She seemed to want so little of you, other than money.”

  He stood a little straighter. His expression hardened. “That’s not entirely true. She wanted to share the pregnancy with me.”

  “Maybe because you needed to share it, and she was reacting to your need.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Then she disappeared.”

  “Yeah. And now there’s pushy Cassie Miranda.”

  “I’m looking out for Danny.”

  “I figured that out for myself. You don’t have the world’s best poker face when it comes to my son.”

  But was Danny his son? Cassie wondered. “Kids deserve—”

  He put a finger to her lips for a moment. “Yes, they do. I’m trying, Cassie. I know you haven’t told me…half? A tenth? Of what you went through in foster care, but I know a lot of it wasn’t good. I hope you’ll share it with me sometime.”

  She’d blocked much of it and never wanted to relive it. But plenty of kids had been in worse situations than she. “I wasn’t sexually abused,” she said, giving him that much. But trust? That was a different issue. As hard as she tried, putting her faith in anyone other than herself was next to impossible, at least complete faith.

  “I’m glad to hear that.”

  “I—” she jerked a thumb over her shoulder “—need to start dinner.”

  Still she didn’t move. Neither did he. They looked into each other’s eyes, searching for…what?

  “What happened to you in those homes?” Heath asked, his hand brushing hers.

  “Give me a half hour to get things going, then you can start the grill,” she said. She spun away from him.

  “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we, Cassie?”

  “Yeah.” She got the word out but that was all. She hurried down the stairs, her boot heels pounding. Danny let out a wail. She detoured into his room, swept him into her arms and held him close, resting her cheek against his head.

  She was already in too deep with this child—and this man. She shouldn’t stay.

  But she couldn’t go.

  Would she ever be able to?

  “You’re right. This document would never hold up in court,” Heath’s lawyer said the next afternoon before taking a bite of pasta salad. Kerwin Rudyard had given up his lunch hour to drive to Heath’s house. Cassie had gone into the city to work but hadn’t gotten back in time to meet Kerwin.

  “Then I need you to draw up a document that will,” Heath said.

  “I can draw it up, but you need to know this will be an uphill battle. She’s going to have rights, if she changes her mind.”

  “I assumed as much. I want to protect Danny as much as I can. Could she take him away entirely?”

  “Let’s not concern ourselves with that just yet, Heath. One step at a time. First step, a lab technician will come take samples for DNA testing. We want to be sure of the chain of custody, so you don’t have to repeat any steps in future and slow down the process.”

  “Yes, Cassie told me that.”

  “Cassie?”

  “Cassie Miranda, a P.I. with ARC Security and Investigations.”

  “I’m familiar with the agency. You’re paying top dollar but you’re getting top performance.”

  “I can tell.”

  “I’ve known Quinn Oliver for years, before we knew his name was Quinn.” He chuckled. “One of the best undercovers— Well, anyway, you’re in good hands.”

  “I’m sure of it. What’s the second step?”

  “You need to find Eva.”

  “Cassie’s working on it. Can you get the birth certificate?”

  “If you won’t go in person to the Office of Vital Records, I’ll need a sworn statement from you, notarized, but not until the DNA testing proves you’re the father. The birth certificate probably can’t have reached their office yet, so we’ll deal with that later. A lot can happen between now and then.” Kerwin folded up his napkin and laid it beside his empty plate. “Thanks for lunch.”

  “Thanks for coming. It was great seeing you, although we could’ve handled this over the phone.” He followed the silver-haired man to the door. They’d known each other for fifteen years. Heath had forgotten how much he enjoyed Kerwin’s company.

  “We could’ve, but I wanted to see for myself how you were doing.” He cocked his head. “You’re better.”

  “Getting there. As much as I ever will, anyway.”

  “Have you forgiven yourself?”

  Heath shook his head. There was nothing to say.

  Kerwin started to walk away, then turned back. “Did you hear that Mary Ann is getting married?”

  The news barely registered on his emotional Richter scale. “We don’t stay in touch.”

  “No, I guess you wouldn’t. Oh, something else—who becomes Danny’s guardian if something happens to you?”

  Heath’s mind went blank.

  “Think about it,” Kerwin said into the silence.

  Heath moved into the yard when his friend drove off, seeking a small pool of sunshine. He closed his eyes and lifted his face. Pleasure assaulted him—a healing warmth, the tempting lure of one of the most basic needs in life, to feel the sun on your face. Peace seeped into him, even with all the unknowns ahead.

  He heard a car approach, saw Cassie coming up the driveway. He needed to do something about the overgrowth. It had gotten thick enough to scratch car paint. Why hadn’t anyone said anything?

  Which was a rhetorical question. No one criticized him. Only Cassie had come close, by opening blinds without asking him first, her criticism silent but obvious.

  He watched her get out of her car and come toward him. Damn but he loved to watch her walk. A slow pace might be considered sexy by some people, but her long strides and quick pace turned him on. A lot.

  “Did you get everything taken care of at the office?” he asked.

  “I got footwork done. I’ll make some phone calls from here. I want to touch base with Eva’s roommate, Darcy, again. She’s our best hope. If Eva gets in touch with anyone, I think it’ll be Darcy.” She set down her briefcase and took off her jacket. “How’s Danny?”

  “He was cranky for a while when Kerwin first got here. He took a bottle and went back to sleep. Been down for half an hour.”

  “What did your lawyer have to say?”

  “Pretty much repeated everything you said.” Except he wants to know who would be Danny’s guardian. “And he’s heard of you.”

  “Is that a good thing?”

  “He said your firm has one of the worst reputations in the city, and what the hell was I doing hiring incompetents?”

  She looked surprised, then she laughed. “You made a joke!”

  “I’ve been known to, on occasion.”

  “Keep it up.” She lifted her face to the meager ray of sunshine. “There’s nothing like September in San Francisco.”

  Bathed in sunlight she seemed to have an angelic aura, yet he knew she was tough. Maybe strong was a better word. Maybe both. Except for her devotion to Danny, she didn’t le
t much emotion show. Because she was being professional or because her past had blighted her emotionally?

  “I contacted the agency about hiring a nanny,” she said casually but her gaze was direct. “I made an appointment for you tomorrow with the director. She’ll be here around ten o’clock so you can interview each other.”

  His gut clenched. He wasn’t ready for that. He didn’t want to share his home with anyone—except Cassie. “Great,” he said, turning toward the house. “Thanks.”

  “We’ll find someone you’re comfortable with,” she said behind him.

  He nodded, and kept walking.

  Danny wouldn’t stop crying. They walked and walked, talked and talked. Cassie even sneaked him into another room and sang to him. Nothing helped. Finally she said to Heath, “I’m taking him for a drive.”

  “No.”

  “It should calm him down. Most babies respond to it.” She knew he didn’t want Danny out of his sight—she was also counting on it. He would come along. Take a drive with them. Open up his world a little.

  “I’m a good driver,” she said, pretending to let him think that’s what he was worried about.

  Danny let out a wail. “All right, already,” Heath said. “A ride. But I’m going, too. And don’t for one minute think I don’t know what you’re doing.”

  She liked him more every hour. His confinement would’ve broken a lesser man, but he’d dealt with his grief in his own way. She respected that, even as she respected the take-charge man who refused to let her be boss.

  They had put the base of his car seat in her car the day before, in case they needed to go somewhere in a hurry, so all they had to do was lock his carrier into the base and they were ready to go.

  Heath climbed into the passenger seat.

  Cassie tried not to look at him, except she could see his fingers pressing into his thighs as she started the engine and pulled out. She wouldn’t ask if he was okay. If he wasn’t, she expected him to tell her, but she wouldn’t give him an easy out.

  It wasn’t quite seven o’clock. There was daylight left. She wanted him to see what he’d been missing.

  Danny quieted down fast, so fast that she was afraid Heath would want to go back home, but he didn’t say so. Except for giving her directions, he remained silent.

  “I’d forgotten how beautiful it is,” he said finally, his voice hushed as they came to a spot that revealed a spectacular view of the city and bay.

  She decided not to trespass on his reawakening by responding. They dropped down into the shopping district.

  “How about an ice-cream sundae?” she asked.

  He hesitated. “Okay.”

  She didn’t see a parking place close to the ice-cream parlor, so she entered a public lot. Heath lifted the baby carrier out.

  “Let’s go watch the ferry come in,” he said, pointing toward the bay.

  They leaned against a railing to await the boat as drifts of diesel fuel merged with the distinctive salty scent of the bay. After a few minutes commuters began to exit the ferry.

  Cassie hadn’t spent a lot of time in Sausalito. Even though she made a very good income, the properties were too expensive for her—or more than she was willing to pay. She knew the value of living off half her income and saving the rest, just in case. But she enjoyed the community, well-known for its art festival every Labor Day, even though she hadn’t ever attended. Big crowds made her edgy.

  “You’re not very talkative,” Heath said into her musings.

  “Just enjoying the evening.”

  “You haven’t even asked how I’m doing.”

  She rested an elbow against the railing, eyeing him. “You’re not exhibiting signs of imminent panic.”

  “You’d be surprised. But three days ago I couldn’t have done this much.”

  “Don’t give me any credit. This is all your own doing. And maybe Danny’s.” She tucked Danny’s blanket more closely around him as the breeze picked up. “Does it feel real yet?”

  “Danny, you mean?”

  She nodded.

  “I’m afraid to let it feel real. What if Eva wants him back?”

  Good. He had been thinking about it. “You can’t hold back just because the situation may change.” She was as guilty of that as anyone. She’d learned to hold back every time she was placed with a new foster parent. She knew she wouldn’t be there long. Why get attached? And it was easier for her foster parent to let go if Cassie didn’t seem to care, either.

  “Danny’s mine,” Heath said, breaking into her thoughts. “But I know I might be facing a battle.”

  Maybe he’s yours. Should she say that? Not now, she decided. Not at this critical moment. “Don’t give up.”

  He laid a hand against her shoulder, then lifted it to her cheek. “I won’t.”

  She stopped herself just before she leaned into him, wanting more, needing more. She turned toward the shops, breaking the physical contact with him. “I hear some hot fudge sauce calling my name.”

  They kept their conversation light after that. No revelations. No dark questions. No reliving the past. Just a man, a woman and a baby, brought together under unusual circumstances but finding things in common.

  “Do you want to drive back?” she asked when they reached her car after sunset.

  “No. Thanks.”

  Danny continued to sleep, Heath said nothing. The quiet soothed Cassie, and she ignored the feeling that it was just the calm before the storm.

  Nine

  Heath jerked awake. He lay in his bed listening, but didn’t hear anything. He glanced at the clock, noted it was almost midnight. Danny should be awake soon, wanting to eat. That must’ve been what woke Heath up.

  He closed his eyes but couldn’t get back to sleep, was surprised that he’d fallen asleep that early to begin with. His lack of sleep was catching up, he supposed.

  He got out of bed and wandered to his window. A car was parked at the top of his driveway. A car that looked like—

  He ran from the room and into Cassie’s, noting her light was on, but she was sound asleep. “Cassie.” He didn’t touch her, only said her name in a hurry, wanting to get back to his window.

  “What?” She seemed instantly awake.

  “There’s a car in my driveway. It looks like Eva’s.”

  She tossed the blankets aside and jumped out of bed.

  “You can see from my bedroom.”

  “Why would I do that?” She grabbed her briefcase then jogged down the staircase ahead of him. “Did you see someone get out of the car?”

  “No, but they had time to get out before I even saw the car.”

  “I don’t like that no one has rung the bell.” She peeked out the tall glass window next to the front door. “I don’t see anyone. No, wait. Someone is in the car. Two people. I can see their silhouettes. Can’t tell what gender they are.”

  Heath looked over her shoulder. Cassie set her briefcase on the floor, opened it and pulled out her gun.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Being prepared.”

  “What if it’s teenagers making out?”

  “Then I won’t shoot.” She turned and grinned at him. “I know what I’m doing.”

  They watched for a while longer. Sure enough, the pair inside the car kissed. Then the car doors opened.

  “Oh, no,” Heath said.

  “What? Do you know them?’

  “Yeah.” He sighed and opened the front door, flipped on the porch light.

  “Earthie!”

  He closed his eyes at the sound of his mother’s voice. She came flying across the yard and straight into his arms. She wore— He didn’t know what the hell she was wearing. One of her usual hippie, throwback, long dresses and sandals, her long gray hair loose and frizzy. His father loped along behind her, his smile broad, his own gray hair pulled into a ponytail.

  Heath patted his mother’s back, then released her to hug his father.

  “Where’s my grandson?”


  “Asleep, Mom.” Danny started to cry. “Well, he was. It’s feeding time. Why didn’t you call?”

  “We wanted to surprise you. My goodness, he’s got a healthy set of lungs.”

  “He lets us know when he’s hungry,” Heath said. “This is Cassie Miranda. She’s a friend of mine. Cassie, these are my parents, Crystal and Journey Raven.”

  He was glad he’d told her their names already. She didn’t cringe at all. Or laugh.

  “It’s very nice to meet you,” Cassie said.

  Cassie dwarfed his mother, who was just shy of five feet tall, his father a foot taller.

  “You can go get him, if you want, Mom,” Heath said, ending the polite chitchat that usually accompanied introductions.

  His mother followed the sound, staking her claim to the baby. His father had a hand on her shoulder, touching, as always. Heath had never seen a couple touch each other as much as his parents did.

  Cassie mouthed, “Earthie?” to him as they fell in step behind his parents.

  He shrugged. She elbowed him in the ribs, making him smile.

  “There’s a story there,” she said.

  “Not a big one. Earth Heathcliff Raven. That’s my full name.”

  “Say that ten times fast.” Her eyes sparkled.

  “You’re biting your lip.”

  “Am not. Can’t talk and bite my lip at the same time.”

  They entered the nursery side by side. He realized suddenly that he was relaxed, a rarity when his parents were around. His mother, at least. He loved her but she got on his nerves faster than—

  “He’s using disposable diapers!” Heath heard her declare, which she’d unerringly found.

  “And so it begins,” he muttered to Cassie, who grinned.

  “I’ll warm a bottle,” he called out to his mother, heading toward the kitchen, taking Cassie by the hand.

  Cassie took a seat at the counter as he ran hot water into a bowl. Her eyes no longer smiled.

  “What?” he asked.

  “You don’t need me here anymore.”